As a young child I was sent to boarding school at the tender age of 7 years, mainly due to two facts. I was born in Zambia and schooling only went to the age of 9 years, my older sister was about to turn 9 years so she would have had to go to boarding school on her own. My father thought it better that we both went together, as we were going to Cape Town to school. My Gran lived in Cape Town and we could go and visit her a few times during the term time.
Sadly the other fact was my mother had a nervous breakdown and needed the rest. Result of this was for years I became very anxious and constantly saw the what ifs, and can say that it really hampered me in life. I felt a dreadful failure. I married very young and yes, the marriage failed, and I was left looking after two young children. My second marriage lasted longer, mainly because my husband worked abroad and the times we had together were very special, but when he finished working abroad we had to learn to live together and it wasn’t easy. My Doctor advised me to either consider divorce as I was becoming extremely depressed, or get a religion. I decided I would go back to church, my daughter, grown up now, had become a Christian whilst she was away in London at Music College.
I went with her to her choice of Church to see what she was getting into, and never left. There was something so wonderfully vibrant, loving, exciting, I could almost feel His Presence and after all the years of worry and anxiety, I wanted to change.
“Someone who is suffering from chronic negativity has no chance of maximizing their potential in life. Overcoming negativity is necessary to finish any task.goarticles.com/article/Positive-Thinking-and…/6886609/”
Little by little my life has changed since I became a Christian, and gradually I have learned not to give into fear, but to put my trust in the Lord. I found that at first very difficult, but after a while you realize just how much the Lord loves you, and really wants to help you, and some of the answers to prayer that I have had, have been just wonderful. I am learning, and it isn’t easy when you have an anxious nature, that there is life and death in the tongue, and the words we speak are creative.
I have learned that instead of looking at the dark, I look instead to God, through My Lord Jesus Christ, and go to Him for help, and have found that He is faithful and His Mercies are new every morning. Yes sometimes it seems to take a long time before a prayer or need is answered, but He is a prayer answering God, and the answer comes in due course – we will reap if we faint not. I have found that obedience is the key to it all, the more obedient I am, the closer the walk, and the great ability I have to cope with whatever life throws at me. Obedience means I musn’t look at the dark, or the what ifs, I must Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding, and He will direct my paths, and that is a wonderful place to be.
He has taught me to have a thankful heart, and to get my focus out and no longer within. Prayer is a wonderful help, I find I am talking to Father God on and off all day long. A friend gave me wonderful word – Rejoice in all things, pray continually and give thanks in all things, and behold He will make all things new. All things means all things, good, bad, difficult, terrifying, frightening or wonderful, it doesn’t matter, I must rejoice. Quite often that has been so difficult, especially when my children are going through stuff, but if I am obedient to that promise, the answer comes more quickly than when I wallow in negativity.
I must just say that my husband and I celebrated our 42nd wedding anniversary this year, and I am so thankful that I didn’t go for the divorce option. He is my best friend and I can’t imagine life without him.
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